I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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