Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize