tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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