I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
