I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
