quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
