I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My vagina is officially offended.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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