Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
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she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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