Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
