I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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