I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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