I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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