just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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