Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
