He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
