I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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