There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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