She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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