So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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