Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
