yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
