you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
