I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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