Duck Duck Cougar?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
