Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
