He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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