dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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