I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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