he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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