i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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