toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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