and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
