Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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