While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
