Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize