yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
