You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
