she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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