belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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