they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
