I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
