she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
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She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
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I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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