its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize