:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize