I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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