Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
