5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
