I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
