i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
