having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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