it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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