it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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