lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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