Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
