my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
