so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
