We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
