He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
