I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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