Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
