My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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