I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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