he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
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I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
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mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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