man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
