The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
