found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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