fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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