she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
