Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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